No Regrets: Fulfilling Unfulfilled Ambitions

Hands up if you wanted to be a vet when you grew up. Seems that vet ambitions are pretty common for young girls. I’ve long since let go of that dream (I pass out at the sight of blood), but still hang onto another dream I’ve had since I was 8.

Like many other 70s kids in Canada I carried an iconic orange box with me as I made my rounds at Halloween. My hopes started with an orange coin collection box, and blossomed into a full blown youth obsession to one day work for “the UN”.

As a 12 year old, my ideas of what “the UN” actually did were somewhat naive but in my heart I imagined myself doing important work and traveling the world. 

Fast forward to today. I’m on study trip to New York during the United Nations General Assembly. It’s honestly all I can do to contain myself and not have a full-on freakout on my seatmates!

But getting here wasn’t a straight line to the finish. This is not the typical culmination of my career. In fact, this trip is the braiding together of various parts of myself: my career, my community service and my philanthropy. 

What started as an orange box at the age of 8, grew into a coveted consulting contract with Unicef in my 20s. It eventually blossomed into a multi-year commitment to join Unicef’s national leadership program, Women Unlimited, which took me to Ghana in 2019.

So here we are! On a plane. On a study trip during the UN General Assembly.

I wanted to use this moment to explore the idea of unfulfilled ambitions. Why did it take me so long? What got in the way? Is it too late for my other ambitions? So I sat down with professional coach and dear friend Susan Elford. As someone who is a big booster of power-women pursuing big ambitions, Susan is a great person to help put unfulfilled ambitions into context. 

Me: How do you define unfulfilled ambitions?

Susan: To me, unfulfilled ambitions are those dreams you have in the back of your mind that you put aside to pursue other things. Many of my clients have unfulfilled ambitions that they don’t even know they have. They know there is something more for them, but don’t quite know what that is. Interestingly, many people have what I like to call a “Secret Life Project”.

Me: How do these unfulfilled ambitions show up in your practice?

Susan: Women come to me mid to senior in their careers feeling there’s something more for them. They have dreams they’ve put on hold; things they don’t think are possible; opportunities not (yet) pursued. And they are unsatisfied. They’re not ready to complete their career until they do “one more big thing” or they’d like a nice semi-retirement project. Unfulfilled ambitions show up in my Personal Leadership Coaching practice every single day. SO many women say, “I’m not done!” and fear giving voice to their unfilled ambitions.

Me: What are some of the underlying barriers to fulfilling our ambitions?

Susan: Two words: limiting beliefs. People feel they don’t have the confidence, the wherewithal, the money, the courage the…fill in the blank. They are afraid to risk their current life situation and are afraid they won’t make enough money if they pursue “the thing.” They worry what people will think if they pursue “the thing.” Or can I even do “the thing.”

Me: As a coach how do you address these ambitions with your clients?

Susan: There are so many ways I like to tackle this with my clients. The first step is to uncover the ambition. Once it’s out there, and voice has been given to it, it’s more real somehow. Self-reflection, self-discovery, and building self-confidence are all behind this. What’s getting in the way are often deep-rooted beliefs about themselves. The more we can uncover what those beliefs are, the more we can shift them because truly, it’s a mindset. And mindsets can be shifted.

Me: Not everyone has the opportunity to engage a coach. What advice would you have for those wanting to revisit an unfulfilled ambition?

Susan: Ask yourself what your childhood dreams were. What did you always imagine you would do, be or have? Like you with your orange Unicef box on Halloween, you imagined working for the UN. Why did that ambition get hidden? It clearly didn’t go away, it just got hidden underneath a pile of stuff. Have an interview with your dreamer self then ask yourself, is this something you still want to pursue?

So there you have it. I’m on a plane, leveling-up my learning and work with Unicef. What will you do today to pursue your unfulfilled ambition?